The End?

I haven't written because I couldn't bring myself to. But at some point, I have to face reality.

Thursday night I couldn't even stand on my right leg. So I made a doctor's appointment. They did an exam and took an x-ray, but saw nothing, so they put me on crutches and made me an appointment with Sports Medicine on Monday. They sent me to do an MRI at 6:00 a.m. on Tuesday morning. Then they called me later that day and simply said I had a stress fracture in my hip, I need to stay off it completely, no running, no swimming, no yoga, no anything. Crutches 1 - 3 months.

I don't even know anything about the fracture. Where is it? How serious is it? What can I do to help it heal faster? I was so overwhelmed I couldn't even think of the questions I should ask.

I have cried so many tears over this. I registered and paid for 5 races, and I can't run them. That's so much money lost (that could have gone towards paying for those x-rays and that MRI). So many medals I'll never have, so many PRs I'll never set. And I'm alone--family and boyfriend far away, no roommates--it's really hard to figure out what to do about cooking and cleaning and getting groceries. And working? How am I supposed to do my job on crutches? I'm so stressed trying to figure all this out, but my method of stress relief has been taken away. And the person who I would normally turn to for support, the person who would most understand... well... that's also not an option anymore. What started out as an exciting and promising season has ended in massive heart break.

I can't think of anything else to say. I guess when I know more maybe I'll post an update, but I think this is goodbye for now. Maybe for always. Maybe my days of marathoning are over, before they ever really got started.